Amy Prior has worked on the neonatal unit for 14 years and is one of our Neonatal Sisters. She is the unit’s bereavement lead. We asked Amy to tell us about her role, as part of Baby loss Awareness week, a time we come together to remember all the babies we have loved and lost.
See what she has to say here:
‘My role is to support and teach all staff how to care for babies and their families in their last days or hours of life. This is a very special role, and part of it is to make sure the team gives families the opportunity to discuss their wishes – meaning we treat their baby as an individual little person, with the utmost love and dignity. It has been my privilege to be part of many last moments with families, helping them create memories and allowing them space to express their grief.
When a family is saying goodbye to their baby on the unit, we light a candle next to a sign informing other families and staff, so that the unit can maintain a respectful silence, as far as possible.
As part of the bereavement process, we give each family a memory box. We do this because most of our babies who die on the unit will not have had the opportunity to be home with their mums and dads, and the box and its contents gives the parents tangible evidence that their baby was here. They can share with relatives who may not have had the chance to meet their baby. The box can be personalised with any possessions the baby had, and also contains a knitted blanket, a trinket box for a wisp of hair, a scented candle, and a key ring. Part of the key ring stays with the baby, and a part stays with the parent. The box contains ink wipes for instant hand and footprints, if these are wanted. We also have on offer the facility to make hand and footprint casts, that can be personalised to the families’ request. We’re also able to facilitate families using the photographic services of Remember my Baby (https://remembermybaby.org.uk/) if wanted. The memory box and contents, hand and footprint casts are funded by our charity First Touch.
Sometimes it’s important for mothers and fathers that extended family and dearest friends can see their baby after death, and for this we have access to a cold cot, generously funded by bereaved families through First Touch.
As a unit dealing with extremely sick and fragile babies, we sometimes deal with situations where sadly, one baby in a multiple pregnancy passes away, while the twin or triplets remain on the unit. At this time, we use a purple butterfly symbol on the incubators of the babies who remain with us. We use this to make others aware, resulting in us being more mindful, but also reminding families that we have not forgotten their baby who died.’
